Unqualified

Robert Stamps, an Asbury icon, spoke of the prayers that had been lifted for the Seminary class of 2014. He spoke of the prayers that had started before the candidate selection had begun and of the prayers lifted as our names were added to the list. He reminded us of the prayers at the cross in Estes Chapel, where the community and staff laid hands on the new students, welcoming us into the Asbury family. It was a wonderful reminder that we are part of something bigger than ourselves and I really embraced that feeling of belongingness.

He continued by saying, “Not only do I want you to remember those prayers, but I want you pray now for those who have been praying for you, even before you were called to come to Seminary. I want us to pray for those who were instrumental in you getting here, some who are no longer with us.”

I have so many people who have offered encouragement to me over the years.

I have so many who have walked beside me and prayed for me.

I have family who were in the ministry, who are no longer living, that would be overjoyed at my decision and I bet they are praying for me even in their sleep.  

I am so thankful for each and every one of them. I cannot begin to express how powerful all those prayers are, as they begin to take fruit in my life at this very moment.

But, I have to tell you, the first image that came to mind for me was Will. It suddenly dawned fully on me. Will is playing a huge role on this walk. I, with almost complete certainty, know that Will is praying for me now and is very proud of his daddy.

That brought up memories of Will coming to Asbury with me as I visited the campus. It was one of our great journeys together. We have been on several escapades together and it was my favorite things to do. We would pile in the car and take off together. Sometimes we would go to the park. Sometimes we would go to a friend’s house. Sometimes, it was the mountains. Every time was new and exciting to him and it warmed my heart to see him look in amazement at the scenery. 

I shared that with Dr. Stamps and I saw his eyes open with wonder and compassion. He said to me, “Then you are dedicating this ministry to your son’s memory? What a wonderful story you have!”

Yes Will’s story will continue. As time goes on, what is that going to look like? I wonder where all this is going and how big of an impact his life will have on others. I see his story pop up in places like Haiti and Nicaragua. I see his arm bands in church and on the wrist of friends. I hear about his story starting conversations between people on Facebook and in the drive-through window of Walgreen’s. It resonates in people’s hearts and is changing lives.

I reflect on the impact he has had on my life and the effect he is having on me in this place. Will, even in his death, is holding me up, encouraging me, and is motivating me to follow this path. That in itself speaks of the essence of ministry.

We, as new students, spent the better part of two days in conference, worship and devotion, exploring the exciting future we had in front of us. We are beginning a ministry, or we are continuing on in a ministry already established. Some of us are well versed in the path we have chosen. Some of us have a general idea, but are unsure of the exact path. Some of us, like me, have no idea whatsoever what our final outcome is going to look like. Just knowing that I am supposed to be here is exciting and I have cried many a tear in the realization that I am in Seminary. I AM IN SEMINARY! Who would have thought that?

All I can say for certain is that I was superposed to be sitting in that chair and preparing to immerse myself into academic rigor and sink myself into deep Spiritual formation. Beyond that, who knows?

 I do not know and it may not be revealed for several years but I am OK with that. I am on a grand adventure called life and I love it.

These last two days of orientation have been full of wonderful worship experiences. I know the hardships of academic work are coming, but the community worship here has a component of restoration that fills the soul to overflowing. The last ceremony during orientation was one of the most powerful worship services I have ever experienced. I felt the Holy Spirit move around the room and when it settled in my heart, I felt a level of joy that I could not inwardly contain. My entire body tingled, my eyes leaked tears of joy and I felt an outpouring of warmth that I know was contagious. I felt the power ebb and flow between each one of us and when I looked into the eyes of others in the room, I could see a shared awareness of the experience. I am still in awe of the memory, because the entire time we were in that room I felt that humming power and it did not abate until we left for our rooms at the end of the day.

The devotional topic read during that service came from Mark, Chapter 1: 14-18:

After John was put in prison, Jesus went into Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God. “The time has come,’ he said, “The Kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!”

As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. “Come follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” At once they left their nets and followed him.

There was nothing about where they were going. There was nothing about having an income. There was nothing about leaving their families or having a place to stay. All they heard was “follow me” and all they did was drop their nets and follow. They were not skilled orators. They were not skilled writers. They were not Rabbis or great leaders. They were simply fishermen and they dropped everything and clung to Jesus. They were unqualified but they followed, their lives transformed and they changed the world.

I sat -and contemplated this in my life. I saw a big connection with me being at Asbury, but I was not really leaving anything behind. I did follow his call to come here. I will be facing challenges with nothing but Jesus to cling to. I don’t know where this is going or where I will be in a year and that is OK. So why was this chapel experience so powerful for me?

Then, as we prepared for Eucharist, it dawned on me. Sharing the body and blood of Jesus Christ with those around me and those saints that have gone before me, reminded me of the importance of this sacrament. I was sharing this cup with my son and I was sharing this adventure with him.

And my son was leading the way!

Will had already made the choice to follow Jesus into the unknown. Will is serving as the example for me. Will boldly followed Jesus to the grave and has been resurrected in my heart as a beautiful memory. It is a memory of love that I want to share with the world.

Jesus called to Will and pulled him out of the darkness. Will, just 4 years old, as unqualified as you can be, trusted blindly that Jesus would take care of him wherever he went. Now, Will is a fisher of men. His legacy will live through me in that capacity and I am proud to carry that with me.

Will followed Christ to the grave and I am following my son. Now we are both on a grand adventure with our Lord and Savior leading the way!!