Haiti: A Mission for the Heart Day 1

On July 13th I started a new journey that has stirred my Spirit for this sort of ministry. This particular mission has become a focal point for the ministry I am wanting to continue in Will's memory, and as I took this walk, it became very clear that this was the beginning of a new path and vision for me. I am so thankful for the opportunity to have gone and I want to convey that  appreciation to all who made this trip possible.

The trip from the US to Haiti was fairly uneventful. There was some air turbulence and one short delay related to a team member's passport, but overall we had a very peaceful excursion; however, what I encountered upon arrival was a shock. I had heard stories and I knew the region was impoverished but I was overwhelmed with how much devastation and brokenness that was still part of the environment. It can only be understood as a witness and I can only attempt to describe what I saw and felt.

Even in the best areas the roads were dust and rocks and trash lined the sides of the roads. Any buildings that could be considered usable were in some stage of disrepair. Most of the buildings were damaged beyond repair and yet life seemed to continue. People seemed to be eking out survival, that is the only way I can describe it. That opinion changed with time, yet at the moment all I saw was total devastation. This devastation occurred almost 5 years ago and they are still reeling from the aftermath. It was compounded by the preexisting poverty already in place and from the outside the situation looks hopeless.

Everywhere you looked one could see life trying to resurrect itself. People where living in these homes without roofs. People had built make shift shelters next to destroyed structures. Some had even made houses out of damaged truck trailers. On one particular trip I saw a wrecked school bus that had slammed into a stone wall. Instead of removing the bus the locals incorporated the bus into the wall for protection. The thing I began to notice the most was the ingenuity and resolve the people of Haiti had. I never really heard them complain or question their reality. They just seemed to get up and continue the best they could. Not sure how fair this statement is because I was there for a week and only met a small group of people but the impression I got was not of despair. I wonder how many of us in the states would not try to blame someone else for their predicament?

For us as a team, unity became the most important part of our trip. From staying together at the airport to supporting each other during emotional or physical stress, we fostered a  sense of community. That was very apparent when we made our first stop at the orphanage, before our final resting place for the evening. The response from the children was very heart warming and it became immediately apparent how much this team meant to the people of Haiti. It was not just about a group of Americans coming to help. It was about a group of people who had not seen each other for a long time. It was about people who were loved because of the relationship that had been built over the years. That is something to see. It was something I began to realize very quickly. I was allowed into this relationship and am grateful for the experience.

I fell in love with a country and its people in a very short week. The environment was harsh but the people make the country and the people were very accepting and open. Well, except the soccer players, they did talk a little smack. Good thing I did not know Creole.

Yes, I played soccer with Haitian teenagers and I held my own thank you very much.

The first day ended with us arriving at the Mission House, a new structure that Reach Haiti uses for its teams and for other visitors. We were tired and ready for bed. The first day was such a blessing and I could not wait for my trip into the mountain.......that would become the biggest challenge for me.

My Walk

This is a story about brokenness. This is a story about redemption. This is a story about the transforming power of the Holy Spirit. This story is about Resurrection and a new life emerging. This is a story about a new beginning and living a Kingdom Life now.

I pray that this story touches someone who is facing a crisis in his or her own life. I pray that someone remembers my lesson when they face a crisis in the future. The actual crises is immaterial, the pain and suffering in these times are real and if one person finds comfort in what I am about to say then my own pain and suffering is justified in my heart and I find comfort in that.

All of us, whether you are aware of it or not, will hit a moment in our lives where our decisions, or the decisions of others, leave us broken. We grow into our lives with that hurt hanging over our heads and develop patterns of behavior that can be very detrimental to our personal well-being, not to mention the train wreck we can leave behind. Whatever form of damage we each develop, it comes with an ingrained behavior that is so entrenched that we find ourselves in a perpetual cycle of destruction. Consequences are sometimes not enough to break that cycle and as dramatic as those sometimes are, some folks continue to live in darkness and misery. Sometimes we never even realize that there is a better way to live.

Most of my adult life was like that. I have struggled with substance abuse issues as long as I can remember. Experimentation began as early as 12 years of age and continued through my early college days. At first it was all fun and games. I have fond memories of fraternity parties at Auburn University and the of the summer binges when I had no responsibility. Those were good times. I will make no bones about that, but as the years moved on I found it increasingly more difficult to find any success in life. You see, I was blind to the damage it was causing and eventually I had established those bad behaviors that continued to haunt me into the later years of my life.

As time progressed I became more aware of how wrong those behaviors were. I began to suffer consequences. I have been to jail, I have lost jobs and careers, and I have lost family and important relationships in my life. I hated how I felt physically. I hated hurting people around me and hated the way I felt about myself. I always took responsibility for my actions; in fact, I took the attitude that I would always have this problem and that I had accepted my role in life. I was a lost cause and that became ingrained into my thinking as well.

So far this story is very similar to most Alcoholics Anonymous stories. This is a typical journey most addicts could claim as their own. This, to the world, was normal and I was destined to be a failure. I had consigned myself to that walk and had come to believe that I would always be second best, or worse.

That was when I said a prayer that would change my life. I prayed that I God make me the kind of man he wanted me to become. Somewhere deep inside I knew that I had a purpose but had no idea how to make it happen. That is when my life began to change.

I knew I was deeply troubled. I knew my sins. I wanted a way out and tried on numerous occasions to make that happen. Somewhere in this mess I had created, I knew I needed a God that would do for me what I could not do for myself. I tried and repeatedly I failed. If I was second best and worthless, what was my motivation? What would make me continue until something finally took hold?

At the age of 42, I received a gift from God so powerful that I had no choice but to face this thing head on. This gift was the biggest risk God had ever done for me and things started to slowly sink in. I suddenly had a bigger purpose in this world.

I had resigned myself to being fatherless. My wife at the time was unable to have children medically and I was happy to take her children from a previous marriage as my own. I enjoyed the role as a stepfather and learned invaluable lessons. I took the role seriously and was content to live my life that way. One can only imagine my surprise when I was told that my wife was pregnant. The doctor was so surprised he asked her, “How did this happen?’ He was an OB/GYN, so I know he meant the improbability of her getting pregnant, not questioning the act necessary to get her pregnant. But here he was, a beautiful miracle child named William Keith Smith. I was overwhelmed. I was going to be a father. I had a new purpose in life and I threw myself into it with abandon.

I was still suffering from my substance abuse problems and at the time I did not fully grasp all that the gift meant. That would come later.

I threw myself into being a parent and gave a big portion of myself to being a “good daddy”.  However, I was also putting a lot of energy into my sin as well and neglected a big portion of my life. I ended up losing my family, Will’s mother and my two-step children. I also came very close to losing my child.   

His mother filed for divorce when Will was barely three. If all things were equal and that was her only reason, then she was justified and did the right thing. Either way I am grateful for the outcome.  There was a key moment during the divorce where I was having a meeting with my lawyer. In that moment I was given the option to accept what his mother was offering concerning custody. That custody arrangement was very limited and I was torn about what to do. I would either have to trust his mother to give me more time, or I would have to trust the court to legally give me more time than she was offering. My lawyer looked at me and said, “Considering the facts and your predicament, most men would accept this and move on with their lives.”

Deep down inside my soul I began to feel this sensation of a power and a resolve far greater than I had ever experienced. It occurred to me that I AM NOT MOST MEN!! In a painfully emotional moment I set my heart to do whatever it took to fight for my relationship with my child. I was going to stand for his rights when he was not being given a voice. I was going to be this boy’s daddy and I give it everything I had.

So I started the journey, having faith that God would make a way. I went down some strange roads. I had tough times where I went for days with out food or sleep. I went to hours of counseling and 12 step meetings. I sank myself into service work but most importantly I turned to my God, my Higher Power, and with abandon relied on Him for my strength and endurance. I had to put my complete trust in Him and rely on a miracle in the courtroom. I was blessed to get a very good custody arrangement and it helped keep William stable during this crazy time in his life.

All this time I still questioned if I was going to make it through. I wondered if Will would see the fight I went through for his sake, but as he grew over the next two years I began to see that yes he was learning what it meant to trust God and it showed in his demeanor. He knew his daddy loved him and he loved his daddy. He trusted me and I watched him gain a confidence in himself that had come from what I was teaching him. Everyone who knew him understood the impact I was actually having on his life, even if I did not always see it.

Life seemed to take on a level of stability I thought I would never see again. I began to plan for an alternative future with my son that did not include a normal family life. I was making plans for the next step in our life and things were finally settling down. 

Then on Sunday, March 30^th 2014, I received a frantic phone call from his mother that Will had been in an accident and was not breathing. I was at home and was told to go to Children’s Emergency and that was all I got. I drove with abandon, not knowing the extent of the injuries. All I heard was accident and not breathing. I started calling my friends. I called those people that had been on the walk with me during my recovery and those who had been beside me during the divorce. My walk with Will had already touched so many people that within hours my support started to flood in. I got to the hospital and learned that what had happened was the worse case scenario. He had been under water for at least 10 minutes and without a heartbeat for almost an hour. Having a medical background told me that he was already too far-gone and I realized at that moment that all I had left was prayer. And pray we did. With in hours the community had so overwhelmed the hospital that extra staff had to be called in. So many friends poured in that the staff at Erlanger, a nationally known regional trauma center, started to making comments like, “I have been here 15 years and I have never seen this kind of support.” Knowing Erlanger had had its share of traumatic accidents involving children that is a big statement to make. With in days we had a prayer circle that circumnavigated the world. We had reports of people in China, South America, Israel, Saudi Arabia, Costa Rica, South Africa, the Philippines, Canada, Ireland and the UK all praying for my son. Every state in the US was represented and the story began to spread. I started to believe in a big miracle, I started to believe in a complete healing.

On April 5^th 2014 William succumbed to his injuries. We spent one more night with him as Tennessee Donor Services tried to locate recipients for Will’s life saving organs. On Sunday April 6^th, I said my final goodbyes as they rolled Will to the OR to take my son’s life giving organs, so that someone else would not have to experience the same loss that I was experiencing. He was known for being a kid who shared and I know he would of wanted me to do that. As I watched them roll him out the door I knew my life was never going to be the same. I suddenly had this urge that I needed to get out of there. I gathered up all the stuff that had accumulated in that week and headed for the door, I heard Will’s mom say “Tony.” I turned and saw her face and I knew what she was thinking because I felt the same way. I asked her, “You do not want to leave do you.” She said, “NO, this has been the best experience of my life.” She was right. All the prayers focused on that little room and the Holy Spirit hovering over this little boy had created a sanctuary for his mommy and his daddy. There was healing for a lot of people and Will received the ultimate healing. Three families received the phone calls that their loved ones had a second chance at life. My church family has pulled together and rededicated their ministry because of what transpired and I got to live in the presence of my loving Father.

Today as I reflect back on all that I have experienced, I find comfort in the fact that I know there is a loving God that searches for us in the darkness. I know that a heavenly Father has sacrificed his Son; I understand that pain, so that we can have a new lease on life and have a beacon to look to while we are still in that darkness. I know that there is a Holy Spirit active in this world that is the power behind transformation, even when we do not know it is happening. I know this because I am a witness to it in my own life. I have just faced the worst possible crises a father may ever have to face and yet I find comfort and a supernatural peace that I thought I would never experience. I have been given the opportunity to keep Will’s memory alive by spreading this message of hope to others. I have a purpose and that purpose is to live life to its fullest and to spread the life changing story of Jesus Christ to others. My motivation is to offer hope to all who suffer and to spread the story of love that was taught to us by one 4 year old boy. A boy that I can proudly call my son.

Thank You For Listening and May God Bless You and Keep You Always.

Peace

Tony Smith                  

Passion to Grow

Part of my story was the desire to become the best father I could be for Will. He deserved that from me. I was a wreck Spiritually and decided to Man Up and walk a walk that would make Will proud of his father and, being a part of me, proud of himself. With a passion I had never before experienced, I set my goals on transforming my life so I could make that a reality. Looking back I have no regrets and firmly believe that I had become that which I had set out to become. I believe Will knew it too. He was young but he was already Spiritually mature beyond his years. I know this because of my relationship with him and the stories I have heard others say about him.

I praise God daily that I was allowed that opportunity and that I was given that motivation to succeed. Without God I would not have been able to accomplish that transformation. I had to make that choice and the walk was a tough one, but I did it for the love of a child. That decision has been honored and again I am grateful.

I have every reason to be devastated by the loss of my son but because of the work and the transformational power of the Holy Spirit, I was able to stand firm during the most difficult time in my life. I weathered the storm and now have a powerful testimony to share.

Matthew 7:24-25
" Therefore anyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.

My house stands and thrives because I chose to build my foundation on the Cornerstone, that Cornerstone is Jesus Christ. My passion for my son's sake continues even after his death. The goal of that passion is to spread that message to others. The message of love and grace that transforms lives is available to all.  My new heart drive is for others to understand that and to walk that path with them as we all grow together.

I crave those relationships with others that mutually builds each other up. I want our story to mix with yours and help others understand this transformative power. I have added an email link that send new published blogs directly to you.  I am building a ministry out of this tragedy to honor Will that will offer hope to anyone who suffers in despair. The process is slow moving but WILL'S WAY MINISTRY" is taking shape and will serve as platform to offer hope and healing to others.

If you wish to contact me or this developing organization please email me at willswayministry@gmail.org

May God Bless You All

Seeds From Heaven

"Our journey toward abundant living is like walking a spiritual labrynth repeatedly, from an ever deepening inner space. We walk toward the center to be transformed by God's love; then we walk outward to transform our small space in the world by reflecting God's love. There is no intention to trick us or get us lost along the journey, But there is mystery. Always mystery. And awe. And amazing grace."

-From Abundance by Marilyn Brown Oden

I received an amazing gift this week. I went to a Christian concert at the Riverbend festival in Chattanooga, TN. The performer was Toby Mac and ever since I saw him in Lexington, KY, Will has been so excited about getting to see him here. Toby Mac became one of his favorites. I guess he liked the beat.

Will spoke repeatedly about getting to go, but the thing I remember the most was his unwaivering belief that Toby Mac would sing "Our God is an Awesome God" and "Bless the Lord, Oh My Soul". That kind of music is usually outside his music genre, yet Will was convinced that if I asked Toby Mac he would certainly sing those songs.

I was excited about going. I love his music as well and was going with my dear friend Fab, also a beleiver in the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit. She holds a special place in my heart and I am glad that she was there to experience this as well.

I went with a heavy heart. I knew how excited I had been that Will and I were going to go to this concert together. We were always up for an adventure. I saw other fathers lifting their children onto their backs and other children dancing at their parents' feet. In those moments I reflected on my own loss.

The performance was great. Toby Mac put on a good show for Chattanooga. It was full of energy and worship and I was moved by the words he spoke that night. All in all it was a very pleasurable evening.

Then, during the encore, something "magical" happened. Toby strung together some of his most popular songs and in the middle of the last part of his performance he started singing "Bless the Lord, Oh My Soul". I was so ovewhelmed that I fell on the ground. My whole body lost strength and I collapsed to my knees. Tears of joy were streaming down my face and I was overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude. My son must of asked Jesus if He would let his daddy know that he was enjoying the show right along with me. The Holy Spirit moved over me and poured that comfort and love into my soul and I felt it in the goose bumps that covered my body.

Luke 24: 45-49

Then He opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures. He told them, "This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the the dead on the third day, and repentance and forgivness of sins will be preched in His name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things. I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high."

The disciples had not asked for it. It was a promised gift from God. That power overwhelmed the masses at Pentacost and empowered them to start a movement. That community of believers started humbly, yet with power, and spread around the world. That movement is continuously impacting lives and that power is real!

I am grateful for the Holy Spirit in my life. I am grateful that my son's story and my life are part of that movement. That power is my motivtion to share my life experiences and the comfort I receive in times of pain. It is my encouragement when other people experience grace and healing from my tragedy. It is the power that moves ahead of our own lives and arranges moments like the concert experience. This moment was set in motion before the tragedy even happened. That is what is so profoundly powerful about my story. That is the mystery!

I hope and pray that what I have lived and experienced will continue to touch and heal the hurting. If that happens, and it already has, then all the pain in my life is worth it. God Bless all who are on this journey with me.

To see Toby Mac sing "Bless the Lord, Oh My Soul" click the link below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntQ1-TQMpX0

Spiritual Glue

Acts 2:42-47

They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. 

The above passage was used in a talk to the Tween Mission Weekend Breakfast. I had been asked to come speak because Melia Warren, the Director of Children's Ministry at HUMC, was taking the children to TC Thompson Children's Hospital and to Ronald McDonald House as part of their mission project. Those places have a special place in the hearts of both of Will's parents. The purpose of those missions involved having the children make teddy bears and then have them delivered to children currently in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. The unit that Will, and his family spent the last week of his life. They also made goody bags that were going to be given to the nurses who work in that unit.

The group also took food to and toured the Ronald McDonald House. Will's mother, Kacey, holds that organization close to her heart as they allowed her to stay and remain close to Will. They do that for all families of critically ill patients and it is a huge service. There are families that would have to travel 100 miles or more from their home to be with their children.

I was asked to give a talk on why this was an important mission and what it means to me. What followed will become a cornerstone of "Will's Way Ministry". To me what came out of preparing this talk was the true purpose of what I want people to see coming out of this tragedy. I have spoken before of the blessings I receive on a regular basis of Will's presence. He is still all around me and I am grateful for that. With Father's Day coming up and his recent birthday, those moments are going to be really important. Before I spoke, I got the overwhelming sense of his presence. He played in that gym and I could still see his lunch bag lined up on the benches by the door. I could even see him running toward me when he saw me with a big smile on his face. Sometimes I would stand quietly and watch him play, loving every moment of that memory. During that morning devotional i was speaking at, they played a song that he had learned in vacation bible school. One of the ones he could never get quite right, but I felt him singing it with them and remembered how adamant he was that he had it right. That was one of those arguments you just don't fight. It was never that important anyway. Will always seemed to get the gist of what they were teaching. He always showed the unconditional love that Jesus taught. That I am proud to say was who Will was.

This brings me to the point I want to make. The Holy Spirit is the glue that binds all believers together. what ever your Christian background, the stuff that makes us unique is the presence of the Holy Spirit. with out it we have no power and are ineffective in our walk. I felt the Spirit move in so many ways this weekend and want to send out a special thanks to the people of Hixson UMC and to all those world wide who prayed for us and continue to do so. Will learned what he learned from this fellowship of believers and I learned, so I could pass it on to him, from this fellowship of believers.

We as Christians should always remember our infant Baptism as I remember Will's. It was a promise from the community to love, nurture and support the immature child. My community of faith did just that for me and my son over the last several years. They continued to extend that to his mother and her family, and to strangers we met in the hospital. With this act of mission outreach they are still teaching children and extending this heart of community to others.

That is to become the legacy of Will. He was brought up in a loving community, was prayed for by a world wide community and his reputation as a peace maker continues to resonate in peoples hearts. That is the power of the Holy Spirit! The Body of Christ! That is what community is supposed to be about.

Faith of a Father

About two years ago, I was struggling with the separation from my son due to the divorce I was going through. I had promised myself that I would be the father who would not let his son feel abandoned and I was doing everything I could to man up and fight for his rights. I had just dropped him off at church for his day at Parents Day Out at my church. It was the one thing I knew that was a consistent part of his life and they had already embraced him and my family. I was in tremendous pain and I was sitting with a friend and sharing that moment. I remember Amy looking at me with empathy and not knowing what to do for me. After several moments of listening to my pain she stopped me and asked me if I would close my eyes and try to visualize Jesus in that moment.

I had done this before, so I knew what she was trying to do for me. I did as she suggested and to her I started to cry even harder. I had a clear vision of Jesus in that moment. Amy noticed the change and asked me if He was sitting with me or if He was holding me. For a minute I could not answer and as the tears slowed I told her what I had seen.

I saw the class room where Will was that day. It was so clear to me that I thought I was standing at the door. The children were playing and doing crafts and I saw my son walking from table to table talking and playing with the others. I saw a figure sitting in the corner of the room. This figure was watching the kids play and he had this wonderful smile on his face. When I realized who this was,  the man turned and looking right at me spoke. What he said gives me chills to this day.

In a clear authoritative voice the figure said, "I can love him more than you or his mom can ever love him......Let me have this". He then turned back toward the room and I saw him begin to focus on Will and it felt like he was holding Will as Will played. It was one of the most peaceful moments I had ever experienced.


Genesis 22: 9-18

"When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an alter there and arranged wood on it. He bound his son Issac and laid him on the alter, on top of the wood. then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. but the angel of the Lord called out to him from heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!"

"Here I am," he replied.

"Do not lay a hand on the boy." he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."

Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took a ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called this place The Lord Will Provide. And to this day it is said, "On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided."

The angel of the Lord called to Abraham from heaven a second time and said, "I swear by myself, declares the Lord, that because you have done this and not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the sea shore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me."

I wonder sometimes if God knew the outcome. Did He know that Abraham would choose by faith to listen? Abraham past history with his other son Ishmael tells us differently. He had a son with a servant woman because of doubt and lack of faith right? So why would this command be any different? In God's omniscience I believe God knows the choice we are going to make and it gets confusing to me when we talk about free choice in this context. But I think I understand now. This test was for Abraham. He had to realize the faith he had at this point in his life.

On the day I prayed fervently for my son's healing I remember asking for my ram. The resulting gift was not what I expected. He was healed but not in the way I thought. I offered my son up to God. I asked for the best outcome and God did provide that for me. My son received the ultimate healing. As for my ram, I have been given a peace that is beyond understanding. It has taken me a long time to understand God and His love for me and for others. Today I hurt for the plight of the world and all its brokenness. Today I want to make a difference. That is my ram.

I think it can be expressed best in the words of Wesley.

"God will provide himself a lamb - This was purely the Lord's doing: let it be recorded for the generations to come; that the Lord will see; he will always have his eyes upon his people in their straits, that he may come in with seasonable succour in the critical juncture. And that he will be seen, be seen in the mount, in the greatest perplexities of his people; he will not only manifest but magnify his wisdom, power and goodness in their deliverance. Where God sees and provides, he should be seen and praised. And perhaps it may refer to God manifest in the flesh."

Only God could have brought me this far in my walk. Only God could give me the comfort that I have. Only God can give me the motivation to reach out to others and find sustenance in doing so.

People everyday tell me that they are amazed at my faith and I am surprised when I hear that. I have been anything but faithful in my walk. God apparently knows otherwise and it took an act of faith to show me.

So I offered my son up to God out of love and an understanding that this was God loving him better than I could. God, in his love for me, is offering me comfort and peace that is beyond the humanly realm of understanding. Because of what I believe about myself I have a motivation that I have never had before. These are all gifts given out of grace.

Fab Holley, another friend of mine, pointed out that Jesus knew the impact that Peter would have on the church even after Peter had denied Jesus at the trial and Crucifixion. Jesus knew that Peter was to become a pillar in the church.

In spite of my denial of Jesus along the way and my disbelief in what he was doing in my life, I have the blessing of realizing that Jesus has always been working on me and through me. What that means is yet to be seen. I believe,however, that because of my son and my relationship with him and God's Son and my relationship with Him today, I have a mighty work in store for me in the Kingdom.

Living Victoriously

This has been an exciting week. The little reminders of just how big our God is keep popping up and I continue to stand in awe at what He is accomplishing in the lives and ministries that are being touched. It started with a blog from a friend about the Celebrate Life service and the sermon by Pastor Reed.  It has continued with God leading me into situation after situation, where I can serve as a vessel to others. It has been affirmed and reaffirmed in the stories that I am hearing, the lives I see changing and the letter I received from Tennessee Donor Services. I am witness to people trusting God.  I am witness to broken marriages being restored. Divorced and divorcing couples are finding resolve to fight for their families. Addictions and Codependents are starting their journey to wellness. People with testimony are waking up to their potential as witnesses. Life giving organs are offering new hope and possibilities in three families. I am so blessed to be a part of this and thank God for his love, grace and peace that He is offering to us through this tragedy.

I was reading through a book by Dr. Joel C. Hunter called "I Don't Do Crazy Anymore"and I came across a quote that I love.

"I'm not going to be afraid of getting sick ever again in my life because I've seen what it can do and what it can't do, and I'm going to live life according to what it can't do; it can't defeat me from doing good in spite of it; it can't stop God's grace from redeeming the destruction."

In the tragic events surrounding the death of my son, I have witnessed what death tried to do. Now I am witnessing what death can not do. I want to live my life with abandon and offer my love to others. I want to announce it to others that I have no fear of defeat even if life tries to break me.

If Will can touch that many lives in only 5 years and do it as a child, I can only imagine what we can do as a body of believers in the next 5 years. Jesus' ministry on earth was shorter than that and look what he did. How many lives has he saved through death?

I Corinthians 15:50-58

What I am saying, brothers and sisters, is this: flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Listen, I will tell you a mystery! We will not all die, but we will be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and will be changed. For this imperishable body must put on imperishability, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When this perishable body puts on imperishability, and this mortal body puts on immortality, then the saying that is written will be fulfilled:
"Death has been swallowed up in victory."
"Where, O death is your victory?
Where, O death is your sting?"
The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Therefore, my beloved, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the works of the Lord, because you know that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

Hey, evil one! Where is your victory? I am identified with Christ and I laugh at your vain attempts to destroy me. By your attempts to break my spirit you have broken the bondage of fear! In your pride you continue to take my woundedness and make me ineffective for the kingdom. All you have done is make my testimony stronger! Thanks to the woundedness of Christ, I can identify with his struggles  and emerge like him, Victorious!!

My son Will lives on and my heart is motivated to share this news. God has two more warriors in the Kingdom that Satan did not count on!

Peace to All

This is the link to the aforementioned blog by Debra Dickerson. Thank you for the insight this week.

http://alienadventurejourney.blogspot.com/2014/05/pushing-5reflections-of-example-of.html?spref=fb